McClintock!

Of all the Hollywood duos I ever saw onscreen, I think I enjoyed watching John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara most.

John Wayne I already knew from several Westerns. He reminded me strongly of my father, though I would not exchange the two for anything in the world. Maureen O’Hara’s characters were everything I wanted to be: independent, fierce, and strong-willed – something you would know if you watched her in The Quiet Man or today’s subject, McClintock!

McClintock! is Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew transplanted to the American West at the turn of the century. John Wayne plays George Washington McClintock, a rancher who came to Arizona when there was nothing but some old Spanish settlements and a lot of unfriendly Indians. O’Hara plays his firebrand of a wife who accompanied him on this journey but is in a snit with him. She is in such a snit, in fact, that she moved out of the ranch two years ago and has not been back – until now.

McClintock has a thing for drinking and saloons, but he loves his wife like no other man has ever loved his wife. When she tells him – again – that she wants a divorce, an uncommon practice in that century, he says no. He may be mad at her but he still loves her.

Matters are further complicated for McClintock by the arrival of settlers promised rich land on a nearby mesa. The problem is that the mesa is nothing more than a barren piece of rock jutting out of the ground, and he has to tell the settlers that “even the government should know that you can’t farm land 6,000 feet above sea level!” It is not his fault these settlers came, nor is it his fault that they were, essentially, swindled. But because he owns most of the territory and the town of McClintock, he takes the heat for both these things all the same.

One of the young men who came west with the wagon train, Devlin Warren (played by Patrick Wayne) asks for a job from McClintock and is hired on as a ranch hand. McClintock then ends up hiring Dev’s mother, Mrs. Warren (Yvonne de Carlo) as the ranch’s cook. This upsets his Chinese cook, whom he keeps around the house despite hiring Mrs. Warren because he suspects she will not be staying long. Besides, he considers his Chinese chef a friend and a member of the family.

But this decision makes Mrs. McClintock even more upset. She figures Mrs. Warren is just another harlot G. W. met and hired before he heard she was coming back. This is not the case at all, but how are you supposed to tell a jealous woman that and have her believe you? Neither Mrs. Warren nor McClintock can convince her until Mrs. Warren, under the influence of spirits, tells Mrs. McClintock that the sheriff has asked her to marry him. She intends to accept his proposal and will therefore have to stop working as a cook for the McClintock ranch.

And if all this mess was not enough, McClintock’s daughter Becky has come back west from school. She keeps company with a young gentleman from the town not long after, a young fellow with ‘social standing’ and the son of an old enemy of McClintock’s. On top of this, the young man also happens to be a sap, and it is clear McClintock does not really like him (who could!). He merely tolerates him to make his daughter happy.

Then Dev, who has taken a shine to Becky, puts the kibosh on the courting and – well, that would be telling.

McClintock! is not your typical Western. It has plenty of action, but most of it is humorous. There are many serious parts in the story, to be sure, but the laughs are never far away as you watch this wonderful, wonderful comedy. I love every minute of McClintock! Whenever I have the chance to watch it, I smile my face sore. If you have not seen this film, readers, then you had better go find it and watch it now. It is a classic in every sense of the word!

And please remember that it is NOT a “cowboy movie.” John Wayne plays a rancher in McClintock!, not a cowboy. In this film, his days of punching cows are long over. The West is closing, the Indians are being forced onto reservations, the buffalo are dwindling, and the days of the gun are numbered. But if McClintock can, he will go out with a bang. Or with a record. 😉

See ya later, Alligator!

El Dorado by Edgar Allan Poe

El Dorado

By Edgar Allan Poe

Gaily bedight,

   A gallant knight,

In sunshine and in shadow,

   Had journeyed long,

   Singing a song,

In search of Eldorado.

–

   But he grew old—

   This knight so bold—

And o’er his heart a shadow—

   Fell as he found

   No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado.

–

   And, as his strength

   Failed him at length,

He met a pilgrim shadow—

   ‘Shadow,’ said he,

   ‘Where can it be—

This land of Eldorado?’

–

   ‘Over the Mountains

   Of the Moon,

Down the Valley of the Shadow,

   Ride, boldly ride,’

   The shade replied,—

‘If you seek for Eldorado!’

Book Review: Hondo by Louis L’Amour

Hondo Lane.

What a name that is. Some never heard it. Some heard it too late. Those who heard it received it second hand, or they were not on the wrong end of his gun. If they were there, and somehow survived, it was because he saw fit to spare them.

A tall, lean, wide-shouldered man with a hard-boned face was Hondo Lane. There was no softness in him, yet also no cruelty. At heart, a kind man, with gentleness in him that was hidden and well-protected. To show kindness and compassion at the wrong moment in his time could lead to a quick end.

And Hondo Lane is not interested in dying soon.

But at the beginning of his story, that seems hard to avoid. A couple of young Apaches shot his horse out from under him, thinking to make a quick kill. They end up dead alongside the horse – but a man without a horse in the desert is a man who will not live long.

Then Hondo comes upon a little ranch house in a nearby valley. In the house are Angie Lowe and her son, Johnny. They are situated smack dab in Apache territory, and currently the Apaches are not happy. They are on the war trail.

This is why Hondo lost his horse and was almost killed. The treaty made with the Apaches has been broken, and now they want the white man to pay. So the U.S. Army has moved in to take care of the trouble. Hondo is carrying dispatches for the Army, since he is a scout for them, and he needs to get them to the nearest fort as soon as possible. To do that, he needs a horse.

Angie Lowe has two horses to choose from, and she allows Hondo to pick out and borrow one. But she dismisses Hondo’s warnings about the Indians. Angie tells him that the Apaches have always gotten along well with them, and that her husband will be back soon.

Hondo, however, has read the spoor around her land. Not only are the Apaches running around the place on their way to war, the hoof prints from her husband’s horse are old. He has been gone a long time, long enough for the ranch he has not been taking care of to fall into further disrepair.

To pay for his meal, bed, and horse, Hondo sharpens the family’s axe and chops wood for them. He also re-shoes the plough horses, whose hooves have grown over the old shoes. He tells Angie again that she would be safer coming with him out of Indian Territory than staying in it, even if the land is hers through inheritance from her father. He also tells her that she is an “almighty poor liar,” and he knows her husband is not present or coming back any time soon.

Angie is most upset by this. Her husband, who was raised with her on the ranch, is actually a bum. The guy works little on maintaining the ranch and goes on “trips” to the fort and nearby towns. There he gambles, drinks, and pays attention to the saloon girls. Meanwhile, Angie is left to mind the ranch and raise Johnny. She cannot handle the ranch alone, but she loves it and it is hers. So she is determined to take care of it to the best of her ability.

But most of what upsets her is that she likes Hondo. She likes him very, very much. Of course, being married to another man, for better or worse, that kind of puts a damper on things for her and Hondo.

The story spins its way out from here, readers, and this is as much of the trail as I am going to guide you on. From here on, you will have to saddle, bridle, and rope this book yourselves. If you do all that, then you may do to ride the river with. If you have already crossed this and other trails of Louis L’Amour’s, then I salute you and am happy to ride in your company.

Hondo was Louis L’Amour’s first full-length publication. Before Hondo was published, Mr. L’Amour had only produced short stories for various magazines. Hondo was his breakout novel. After it hit the market, he had no need to look back. He was off to the races, and he kept going till the end of his days.

John Wayne was in a film based on Hondo. The film goes by the same name as the book. It is a good film – a great one, I think. And before some of you say that it is just a “cowboy movie,” let me step in here and make something clear. A “cowboy” is someone who “punches cows.” He manages another man’s herd for him, whether it is cattle or horses. He helps with the branding, driving, and protecting of the herd from outside attackers.

Hondo is not a cowboy. He is a scout for the Army. So when John Wayne played Hondo Lane in the film Hondo, he played a U.S. Army scout. There is plenty of daylight between the two positions, as much as there is between a military sniper and a beat cop. Do not ever go mixing the two up – especially around me.

You get that story straight, and you’ll do to ride the river with.

See ya around, readers!

The Mithril Guardian

Quotable Quotes #16

“There’s only one God, ma’am.  And I’m pretty sure He doesn’t dress like that!” – Captain America in Marvel’s The Avengers

“The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play.” – Captain James T. Kirk in “Shore Leave”

“I wish you’d shut up!” – Optimus Prime to Galvatron in Transformers: Cybertron

Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday. – John Wayne

A politician’s goal is always to manipulate public debate. I think there are some politicians with higher goals. But all of them get corrupted by power. – Dean Koontz

Sparing your helpless enemy who surely would have destroyed you, you demonstrated the advanced trait of mercy, something we hardly expected. We feel that there may be hope for your kind. Therefore you will not be destroyed. It would not be civilized. – The Metron in Star Trek: Arena

Van Flyheight: “We need guts to blast our way through!”

Fiona: “All guts and no brains.” – in Zoids: Chaotic Century “The Savior”

“Never apologize and never explain – it’s a sign of weakness.” – John Wayne in She Wore a Yellow Ribbon

Rights, sir, human rights–the Bible, the Code of Hammurabi and of Justinian, Magna Carta, the Constitution of the United States, Fundamental Declarations of the Martian colonies, the Statutes of Alpha 3–gentlemen, these documents all speak of rights. Rights of the accused to a trial by his peers, to be represented by counsel, the rights of cross-examination, but most importantly, the right to be confronted by the witnesses against him–a right to which my client has been denied.  I speak of rights. A machine has none. A man must. My client has the right to face his accuser, and if you do not grant him that right, you have brought us down to the level of the machine. Indeed, you have elevated that machine above us. I ask that my motion be granted, and more than that, gentlemen, in the name of humanity, fading in the shadow of the machine, I demand it. I demand it! – From Star Trek: The Court-martial

Quotable Quotes #14

Political correctness is just tyranny with manners. I wish for you the courage to be unpopular. Popularity is history’s pocket change. Courage is history’s true currency. – Charlton Heston

Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid. – John Wayne

Who’s the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him? – Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. – John Wayne

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. – Dean Koontz

Sometimes, to be silent is to be most eloquent. – Charlton Heston

Nothing gives us courage more readily than the desire to avoid looking like a damn fool. –  Dean Koontz

“The best diplomat that I know is a fully-loaded phaser bank.” — Lt. Cdr. Montgomery Scott in “A Taste of Armageddon”

Maybe it’s good if God gives you something to think about every so often. – Charlton Heston

I really believe that everyone has a talent, ability, or skill that he can mine to support himself and to succeed in life. – Dean Koontz

Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much. – John Wayne

A ‘Quiet’ Movie

The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara, was a film I saw often while I was growing up.  I can still recall, in my youthful naiveté, hoping to someday meet John Wayne, whom I only later learned had died before my time.   Despite that, he remains one of my favorite actors to this day and, in my opinion, one of the world’s finest actors.

I also consider Maureen O’Hara to be one of Earth’s greatest actresses, due largely to her part in The Quiet Man.  Though she and Wayne rarely starred in the same film (I can only name four films in which I know they performed side by side), when they did work together, the audience could count on great performances from the two of them.

The Quiet Man is no exception.  In fact, it may be the pinnacle of their partnership.  In the film, Wayne stars as a retired American boxer who travels to his ancestral home in Ireland.  Entering the town, he spies O’Hara’s character walking through a nearby field.  O’Hara looks over her shoulder at this point and makes eye contact with Wayne for a full minute, then ‘scurries’ on home.  But the look is enough to tell Wayne’s character – and the audience – that they have just witnessed a love-at-first-sight moment.

O’Hara reportedly said that she thought this scene was the most important one in the film, which would also make it the hardest to perform.  And, perhaps, it also made it hard for her to write it.  That is correct.  Maureen O’Hara wrote the screenplay for The Quiet Man herself, based on a short story of the same name but in a different setting.

O’Hara, when she told her father that she wanted to be an actress, reports that he stated she could try to be an actress.  But in case that career choice did not work out, he convinced her to take a secretarial course so that she would have a job to fall back on if her acting wish did not come true.

Luckily for the world, she made it as an actress and a writer.  Her typist lessons certainly came in handy for The Quiet Man!

There is one more thing I wish to mention about The Quiet Man.  Those who have seen the film all the way through know that, at the end of the movie, Maureen O’Hara stands on tiptoe and whispers something in John Wayne’s ear.  Whatever she said, she genuinely startles Wayne, who looks at her in complete shock.

O’Hara has stated that only she, John Ford, and John Wayne knew what she said.  Neither man ever revealed what she said – and she herself has stated that she will pass on without revealing what it was she told Wayne.

Those who viewed Marvel’s The Avengers may have guessed where I am going with this.  At the end of that film, when Selvig and the other Avengers are bidding Thor good-bye, Black Widow leans over and whispers something to Hawkeye about Loki, which makes him smile in what appears to be wickedly amused anticipation.

So, before Johansson makes a vow of silence on what it was Joss Whedon told her to say, as Maureen O’Hara has – IN HEAVENS’ NAME, WHAT DID SHE TELL HIM?!?

That being said – or asked, as the case may be – I believe that The Quiet Man is a jewel among movies, filled with the indomitable spirit of the greatest actor and actress of a great age.  I definitely recommend The Quiet Man to any and all who enjoy a great story, well told and well performed.

Until next time!

The Mithril Guardian