Offended, Insulted, and Not Shutting Up

Hey, readers! We regret that we must interrupt this programming with another little piece of criticism aimed at Marvel’s Hierarchy of Seneschals.

Yes, I just called them that. Until they either wake up or are replaced by people who actually know what they are doing, I am not changing that moniker.

Marvel announced that in the next season of their animated series, Avengers Assemble (to be re-titled Avengers: Secret Wars), Jane Foster will debut as “Thor.” Some of you, certainly, see no problem with this. But several other fans, including me, have had problems with this change since it was made in the comics. See the links below to find out how much we dislike it:

http://comicvine.gamespot.com/thor/4005-2268/forums/i-like-jane-foster-as-thor-but-i-dont-1697781/

http://www.theimaginativeconservative.org/2014/07/say-it-aint-so-stan-female-thor.html

http://community.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?582-By-the-Gods!-It-s-THOR-Appreciation/page52

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2015/02/14/female-thor-is-what-happens-when-progressive-hand-wringing-and-misandry-ruin-a-cherished-art-form/

https://voxday.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/men-in-women-suits.html

http://kaimaciel.tumblr.com/post/144803890339/my-honest-opinion-on-jane-foster-as-thor

http://www.comics2film.com/if-she-be-worthy-thor-jane-foster-marvel-101/

While I am not a huge fan of the Prince of Thunder, the fact is that I do like him, and I prefer him as a Prince, that is, a male heir to the throne of Asgard. Jane Foster is an agreeable character, and I would be excited to see her in the TV series. But I would prefer that she debuted as herself: no superhuman powers, no magic hammers, none of the “new” idiocy with which the writers and their handlers have decided to outfit her.

Jane Foster’s strength was once her “mortality,” her humanity. It would not matter to me if she turned up in the cartoon as a nurse or as an astrophysicist, as she is portrayed in the films. She has carried herself well in both those fields of endeavor; as either of these professions and many others suit her character.

Yet Marvel, in its attempts to stay ahead of the latest fads, decided this was not good enough for her. Someone, somewhere, must have complained about the enchantment on Thor’s hammer, which of course read: “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall wield the power of Thor.” A lot of people are getting hung up on pronouns such as “he” and “she.” “He” is what they come down against most vehemently nowadays.

To raise Cain (ooh, how gender-specific of me) over such an inconsequential thing is beyond dim-witted. Mjolnir can be wielded by whoever is worthy. That can be a man, a woman, an alien (remember Beta Ray Bill?), or an android (did we all forget Vision that fast?). The inscription is a generic; if a worthy lady had come along and picked up Mjolnir, the only reason Thor would have been astonished was because he is used to lifting the hammer, not sharing it with others.

Thor has been a male character for more than a thousand years, since he was created by the Ancient Norse. And, as others have pointed out, Marvel’s version of Thor has been adored by thousands of girls everywhere right from the get-go. His fan base is not getting any smaller, people, and neither are the crushes on him.

But in an effort to appease the talking heads, Marvel has disregarded the feelings of its fans – you and me – in order to curry favor with the ‘elites.’ Never mind that we are the ones who have supported Marvel all these years, they are determined to continue flogging dead horses in order to receive the praise of people who otherwise sniff condescendingly at them and their medium.

Yes, you read that right. I called this gender-switch for Thor a dead horse. It is a dead horse. It has been a dead horse for decades, but the ‘intelligensia’ is so desperate to keep making money off of it that they insist it is still twitching. People continue to scream about women being oppressed in the United States and Europe because, for instance, they “do not make as much money” as men.

Have a look at these links here, readers, and see if you agree with that assessment:

 

ISIS Burns Caged Women

http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2016/06/06/19-women-burned-to-death-after-refusing-to-have-sex-with-isis-fighters/

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/06/06/19-yazidi-girls-burned-alive-for-refusing-to-have-sex-with-their-isis-captors.html

http://www.wnd.com/2016/06/isis-burns-19-girls-alive-for-refusing-sex-slavery/

 

Persecution of Christians by ISIS

http://www.wnd.com/2014/12/nun-pleads-for-christians-raped-sold-killed-by-isis/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/425942077231304272/

http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2015/10/05/report-syrian-christians-cry-jesus-isis-mass-beheading/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3261075/ISIS-sliced-12-year-old-Syrian-boy-s-fingertips-father-Christians-failed-bid-convert-Islam-executed-group-victims-shouted-Jesus.html

https://www.thereligionofpeace.com/attacks/christian-attacks.aspx

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/isis-crucifies-children-for-not-fasting-during-ramadan-in-syria-10338215.html

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/07/02/isis-executioners-spare-no-one-killing-74-children-for-crimes-including-not.html

 

Jihadi Brides

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/isis-s-austrian-poster-girl-jihadi-brides-have-changed-their-minds-and-want-to-come-home-9789547.html

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/577347/British-twin-girl-jihadi-brides-want-to-return-to-home

http://nypost.com/2014/10/10/pregnant-teen-girls-who-joined-isis-weve-made-a-huge-mistake/

http://ijr.com/2014/12/220140-150-women-refused-isis-sex-brides-terrorists-responded-heinous-way/

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/08/12/uk-teen-girl-who-went-to-isis-area-syria-reported-killed.html

 

Rape Abroad

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2016/07/10/leaked-document-says-2000-men-allegedly-assaulted-1200-german-women-on-new-years-eve/

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2016/01/21/revealed-full-list-of-1049-victims-crimes-committed-during-cologne-new-years-eve-sex-assaults/

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/636944/Cologne-sex-attacks-list-crimes

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3684302/1-200-German-women-sexually-assaulted-New-Year-s-Eve-Cologne-elsewhere.html

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35231046

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jinamoore/cologne-attacks-on-women?utm_term=.tk5ewAR5Y#.lujLvXlo9

 

Women in the U.S. do not know how good they have it. That is the truth.

Why is Marvel so determined to gender-switch characters like Thor and Iron Man when they have real-life stories like these, which are far more important and only a few minutes from their fingertips, to incorporate into their comics? In the 1940s they lampooned Hitler, and in the 1950s and 60s, they bashed the Communists. But in this brave new world, they are suddenly afraid to so much as mention the beasts that burn women in cages for refusing to be sex slaves? Why would they rather have us watching Captain America be “revealed” to be a secret HYDRA operative, when the real HYDRA (better known as ISIS) is out and about in the world beheading and crucifying children?

Do they really think that we are buffoons with such banal interests that our only care is why the inscription on Mjolnir says “he” instead of “person”? More to the point, readers, is this how you want the people running Marvel to think of you? It is not how I want them to think about me, that is for sure!

But apparently they not only believe we are navel-gazing twits, they are extremely eager to shove that belief down our throats – along with the notion that they “have” to do this because their universe has “too few” super heroines.

That is guff spewed by people who do not know what they are talking about, and I can prove it. Below is a roll call of some female Marvel heroines that regularly see – or have regularly seen – combat in the Marvel Universe:

1. The Invisible Woman/Sue Storm-Richards
2. Wasp/Janet van Dyne
3. Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff
4. Mockingbird/Bobbi Morse
5. Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff
6. Mantis
7. Moondragon
8. Hellcat/Patricia Walker
9. She-Hulk/Jennifer Walters
10. The Blonde Phantom
11. Miss America
12. White Tiger/Ava Ayallah
13. Squirrel Girl
14. Spectrum/Monica Rambeau
15. Carol Danvers
16. Sharon Carter
17. Crystal of the Inhumans
18. Medusa, Queen of the Inhumans
19. Storm/Ororo Munroe
20. Jean Grey
21. Psylocke
22. X-23/Laura Kinney
23. Jubilation Lee
24. Firestar/Angelica Jones
25. Surge
26. Honey Lemmon
27. Go-go Tomago
28. Julia Carpenter
29. Jessica Jones Cage
30. Rescue/Pepper Potts
31. Silver Sable
32. Black Cat/Felicia Hardy
33. Echo/Maya Lopez
34. Firebird/Bonita Juárez
35. Jocasta
36. Dazzler
37. Rogue/Anna Maria
38. Shadowcat/Katherine “Kitty” Pryde
39. Boom-Boom
40. Silverclaw/Maria Santiago
41. Quake/Daisy Johnson
42. Jessica Drew
43. Mirage/Danielle Moonstar
44. Sif
45. Valkyrie/Brunhilde
46. Yellowjacket/Rita DeMara
47. Gamora
48. Lilandra
49. Wolfsbane
50. Elektra
51. Dust
52. Magma
53. Misty Knight
54. Colleen Wheeler
55. Polaris/Lorna Dane
56. Phoenix/Rachel Grey Summers
57. Dagger
58. Torunn
59. Maria Hill
60. Tigra
61. Songbird/Melissa Gold
62. Namora
63. Namorita
64. Darkstar
65. Magick/Ilyana Rasputin
66. Emma Frost
67. Stature/Cassie Lang
68. Siryn/Theresa Cassidy
69. Sasquatch/Snowbird
70. Domino
71. Marrow
72. Blink
73. Kate Bishop

This is by no means a comprehensive list. Still, if this sample inventory has not made your eyes cross, then you should visit this site: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Marvel_Comics_characters:_A. It lists many, if not most, of Marvel’s characters. Scanning through it some years ago, I was left wondering why Marvel seemed to be having so much trouble coming up with new male characters, since they were adding more new females than males!

Now what reasonable critic can look at these catalogs and conclude that Marvel has “too few” heroines? Marvel’s heroines have always stood with their male counterparts to face down evil. But the fact is that some of these ladies have been and remain more popular than others. This is natural, and their male compatriots have suffered the same ebb and flow of fan admiration over the years. Some characters are simply more popular than others. This does not negate the existence of the less well-known male heroes, so why do people seem to think the reverse is true when discussing Marvel’s lesser known heroines?

Marvel has no need to gender-swap its male characters. Avengers Assemble is a perfect platform from which to show their less eminent or forgotten heroines and heroes. They could even use the series as a stage to create new heroines, the way Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends did in the 1980s.

This post was published for two reasons, readers. One, I have had a burning desire to tell off the ignorant critics of Marvel Comics for quite some time. If they want to evaluate Marvel’s characters properly, then they should do their research before they open their big, fat mouths. If they are too lazy or indifferent to do that, then they should sit down and shut up, leaving the people who do know and love Marvel’s characters to enjoy them undisturbed.

Second, I wanted to make clear to Marvel just how deeply offended and insulted I am, underscoring my latest letter to them. (BTW, thanks for all the views, Marvel. It is sooo nice of you to drop by! 😉 ) They believe that to keep my patronage they have to turn their fictional universe upside-down and inside out.

That is a perfect way to lose my money, not keep it. The Mainstream Marvel Universe which Stan Lee, Don Heck, Jim Romita, and all the others created is my favorite Marvel playground. And I want that universe, with all its flaws and foibles, back. This does not mean that I want the characters wearing their original costumes and hairstyles. I do not want them using radio and ‘60s slang. I simply want their histories and identities to stay fixed as they were originally conceived and, if possible, built up for the better.

Alternate universe spin-off comics, TV series, and movies are fun (with the exception of the Ultimate Universe). But they are not the universes I benefited from first. That universe – the 616 universe – is the one I love best and will always enjoy more than any other.

If Marvel thinks they have to ruin that world in order to keep my interest, then they have made a grave error. I understand that it is not easy to continue a series that has survived for fifty plus years. That is not the issue. The issue is Marvel’s desire to play patty-cake with people who despise them while using them as a tool. Once they are done, they will discard Marvel like a hot potato – and then what will become of the heroes we care for and the ideals for which they stand?

I do not want to see Marvel destroyed. I want to be able to share it with many more people over the coming years of my life. But I cannot follow a bunch of lemmings over a cliff into the ocean, nor will I allow them to lead others over said precipice into said sea. Not without a fight.

Whether you agree with this article or not, readers, think about what you read in the links embedded here. Learning is not simply memorizing mathematic formulae or deciding how to identify yourself. Education is supposed to teach you to how to think, not what you are to think. As long as you can think for yourself, the Enemy will have a more difficult time catching you.

I prefer not to be caught, and so I prefer to think. It is a whole lot harder to escape a trap than it is to avoid it in the first place.

So start thinking, Marvel!

Until the next mess,

The Mithril Guardian

A ‘Quake’ing Good Idea

Hello, Marvel Writers!

I was bopping through the Wikipedia files on our favorite heroes when I remembered a character I’d seen in Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes!  So when I found the episode title and saw one name I didn’t recognize listed, I clicked on it.  That’s how I discovered Quake, a.k.a. Daisy Louise Johnson.

She’s very interesting; a SHIELD agent AND the daughter of a villain (in this case Mr. Hyde).  Adopted (and apparently raised) by S.H.I.E.L.D., she doesn’t seem to have any care for her actual father.  It’s safe to say he doesn’t care about her.

Beating Magneto on her first mission is a major accomplishment.  Too bad she didn’t join the Avengers; she’d make a heck of a teammate!  By the way, who are her adopted parents?  She seems to be so loyal to Fury that she considers him something of a father figure more than a commander.

From what I can see, she’s in good company.  Or at least, she should be.  After all, the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver have a similar story to hers, but so far hers has turned out better.  And so this brings me to my questions, theories, and suggestions.

We’ll start with the questions: Why is she the only really good (recent) character related to a villain to turn into a permanent heroine?

And why don’t the heroes get to have families?

Wanda and Pietro have had repeated relapses into their criminal tendencies.  Nightcrawler has gotten along fairly well, but the same can’t be said of Rogue these days.  Gambit is also zigzagging across ‘state lines.’  Harry Osborn has fallen time and again into his father’s madness, and taken on the costume of the Green Goblin a few times in certain arcs and series as well.

The Prof’s son, David, turned into the villain Legion.  Cable – well, after a while it’s hard to tell which side of the tracks Nathaniel Summers fights on.  Spider-Man’s daughter is dead (I liked the kidnapped story better), and Mockingbird had a miscarriage at some point.  Yet Mr. Hyde, Thanos, and even the Red Skull each succeed in having a daughter.  Can you say ‘unfair’?

Now for my theories.  I think that you guys have Wanda, Pietro, Rogue, and Gambit ‘relapsing’ or going berserk to add pathos to their characters.

Excuse me?  All four are (or were) already trying to shake off the sins of their fathers (or mothers).  Gambit’s ‘father’ was a thief who raised him to use his powers to steal.  Rogue’s and Nightcrawler’s ‘mother’ regularly tries to kill them or ruin the world they live in.  And the Maximoff twins’ father is Magneto, a near genocidal mutant who has killed at least several hundred people.

This earns them plenty of sympathy and reason to run from their past.  The only one who seems to have succeeded, however, is Nightcrawler.

L Face it, sending them straight back into what they are desperately trying to avoid isn’t for the effect of extra tragedy.  It’s to ‘explore’ their psyches and ‘dark sides.’

For the umpteenth time; this is unnecessary!!  They suffer enough even being tied to these people.  Drowning them in their ‘dark sides’ is just to entertain yourselves (you sickos!!!!).

As for not giving anyone but the Fantastic Four and Luke Cage a stable family, I think you haven’t done that for two reasons.  First, you don’t believe the readers and fans want to see the heroes ‘grow up’ and have a family.  Second, you figure there’s no real need for them to have one except as a launch pad for a plot twist (which is why Hawkeye’s family died in the Ultimate Marvel Universe; how else could you make him a suicidal loose cannon?).

Did the relative popularity of the MC-2 universe Spider-Girl teach you nothing?  Obviously, it didn’t.  New York’s favorite Webhead finally gets a chance in that series to be as happy as Reed and Sue Richards, and fans liked it.  They liked it.  Yet our mainstream heroes get slung into the depths of despair and pain for no other reason than it is amusing to you.

So somehow villains like the Red Skull, Thanos, Magneto, and Mr. Hyde get to have children (two of whom, Sin and Nebula, take on the professions of their fathers), but only the FF gets to have a legacy in Franklin Richards and his new baby sister.  Even the Prof doesn’t get to have anyone take up his cause since Cyclops’ fall from grace.  I don’t know where Legion is, but he certainly isn’t a member of the X-Men.

Meanwhile, evil is assured root in the Marvel Universe by the likes of Sin and Nebula, while good wanes as fast as the might of Gondor.

As you may remember, that fictional country’s strength was reinvigorated by the return of the king. When I say this in relation to the comics, I mean the return of hope, common sense, and heroes to their principles once again.

If Spider-Girl was popular once, why couldn’t she be again?  I’m not saying that Spidey has to hang up his costume when/if he becomes a dad; when has Reed Richards?  When has Luke Cage?  Last time I checked, they were still actively serving as heroes after becoming fathers.

I have more examples beside the MC-2 Universe, too.  I haven’t forgotten the Next Avengers’ Universe with James Rogers, Francis Barton, Torunn, Azari, etc.  Fans enjoy those comics, don’t they?  When last I checked, they did.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever tried to find out why they are so liked?

If not, then here’s why I enjoy them: although all our heroes in the Next Avengers Universe are dead (sniffle), all is not lost.  For a while they had a little bit of happiness before they went to the great beyond.  They had children who would be able to continue their legacy.  And watching these youngsters grow up is almost like meeting our favorite heroes all over again.

Throughout their comics’ series, they have made nearly the same mistakes that their parents would have.  They get into similar disagreements or brawls the way their parents did (James and Francis continue to knock heads, as their fathers did before them, over how to win a fight).  They’ve been fostered by Iron Man, just like Myles in Men of Iron was fostered by a friend of his father’s.  This type of story is nearly as old as time.

So despite the fact that these true ‘Young Avengers’ are living in an apocalyptic world without their parents, the driving theme is that they are emblems of hope for their universe.  That’s why I like them.

Okay, so now that I’ve burned your ears off, are you ready to hear the suggestions I referred to earlier?

Well, ready or not, here they are.  Why not let our mainstream heroes wake up from this clockwise nightmare?  Suppose the stories from Disassembled and onward are somehow erased (permanently, please!) or are the result of some sort of ‘dream sequence.’  Then give the heroes a breather for as long as they need it; get them back on their feet, reorient them with each other and with the readers.  (I cannot tell you how old they feel right now, with this constant breakneck pace that’s been running through the comics for the past twenty years.  Giving them a breather would help, oh, so much.  It would take years off them if you just gently applied the brakes and started cruising down the street again.)

And then I would suggest that you let them have what the people they continually fight to protect have – a family.  I would suggest giving them heirs to carry on the mantle at some future time (preferably, a future time that is always one more day away).

Luke Cage is proof this works.  He’s a father and his daughter was kidnapped not too long ago.  They got her back, safe and sound.

Reed and Sue Richards are also proof.  How many times has Franklin been threatened since he was born?  I, for one, have lost track.

These two families are proof that being a family and being a superhero is possible.  A family wouldn’t make a hero ‘grow up,’ they would make them ‘grow out.’  In other words, they would expand their character.

Think of the plots that could come of this, fellow writers!!  Think of the new teams that could be formed this way!!  If there’s to be a band of Young Avengers, it should have at least one or two children of a few actual Avengers as members- in my humble opinion.

You could make Iron Lad (can that name get ‘ironed’ into better shape?) a son of Tony Stark instead of a young Kang the Conqueror.  That would make it less of a headache to keep up with an Iron Lad, as well as explaining how he got the armor.  Cap is definitely a family type guy.  You already know what I have to say about Mockingbird and Hawkeye.  Quicksilver has a daughter, as does Arachne/Julia Carter.  Where are these girls?  And T’Challa needs an heir or the kingship of Wakanda goes to a relation of his when he’s dead.  Storm would make a great mom; she proved it taking care of Shadowcat and other young mutants.

And having Rogue and Gambit finally finish their dance around the Maypole would be a relief.  Jean and Cyke gave up that dance (finally); Rogue and Gambit should be able to as well.

This is not to say I want our heroes abruptly and unceremoniously replaced by their children (if they have any).  All I’m asking is a hint that someday, a day that never really comes, our heroes will have heirs to take their places.  Kings and queens in old folklore had that.  Why can’t our heroes/heroines have that?

I realize that characters like the Hulk and the Black Widow can’t have children.  That’s fine.  Who in the world could replace the Hulk or Natasha Romanoff?  There are also characters I wouldn’t want to see married, let alone parents (I mean Ms. Marvel here; *shiver*).  But it would be nice to see some of the heroes, like Cap, Tony, Spidey, and Hawkeye, get the chance at that happiness.

Why, you ask?  Because the villains shouldn’t get all the perks.  For starters, they haven’t earned them.

The heroes have.

I say – no, I shout – let the heroes go back to having rambling, surprising, fizzy adventures.  Adventures where the heroes are the good guys – period.  Reading stories like Disassembled and Age of Ultron makes me feel a thousand years old; that was never the purpose of our favorite heroes. And I suggest letting Quake, Rachel Carter, Franklin Richards, Nick Fury Jr., etc., have peers.

So this is my challenge to you, fellow writers.  Turn off the overheated engine, the blaring buzz of constant hate and warfare.  Give us some fizz, hope, and freedom.  Give us some expanded characters.

Are you up to it?

Sincerely,

Mithril (A Frustrated, but Eager and Hopeful True Believer)