Fan Fiction: Not Alone

Well, no one has said, “No, I don’t want to read your fanfics, Mithril.” Looks like I might as well post them, huh?

I did not realize until I was rereading this story to make sure it had been edited to my satisfaction that I basically ignored Vision in the course of this tale. I at least mention by implication Iron Man before actually naming him, but not Vision. Granted, I am pretty sure I wrote this before Christmas of 2016, so I still had faith in the MCU’s next phase doing right by the fans. I expected to have more to work with when the next set of films where Team Cap and Team Iron showed up to give me more material to work with.

Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. This little story is a bit of an orphan as it was supposed to be set in the timeline of the films, so it leaves a variety of items hanging. It ties in to the previous two fanfics that I wrote after Age of Ultron, though; it is part of that “canon” or universe. I believe canon matters, so I will always tell you what is canon which of my fics are set in, whether they’re my own Alternate Universe (AU) or this more-or-less film-accurate series.

Anyway, here is the story, which I’ve decided to title Not Alone. Enjoy, readers!

Until next time,

The Mithril Guardian

Not Alone

by The Mithril Guardian

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Wanda had only been to the Barton family’s old farm once, at Easter. Their new house, nestled in a forest, had been chosen by Clint as an optimal hiding place. He had made sure the brush was kept back from the home and, with a little help from Wanda, Steve, and Sam, had added booby traps around the property.

Lila and Cooper knew where they could and couldn’t play, keeping Nathaniel within bounds when he came out of doors (it was too cold for him today). So there was no chance of them setting off the snares. The three men had also made certain that, if an animal were to trigger one of the traps, it would have to be an exceptionally smart one.

The house was not quite as large and sprawling as their previous abode, but it seemed to need almost as much work. At least, according to Clint it did. Laura had jokingly asked Steve when he would be taking her husband out on another mission. “If you don’t get him out of here soon, he may rip down half the house!”

“No I won’t,” Clint had rejoined smugly. “Just the back balcony, maybe the back porch…and the wood shed.”

Rolling her eyes, Laura had swatted her husband good-naturedly on the arm before going inside to tend to Nathaniel. Cooper and Lila had then started a snowball fight, and the outdoor activities had spiraled out from there.

At the moment, Wanda was helping Lila to build a snowwoman. Using her power, she lifted the ball which would serve as the head and set it into place.

Their snowwoman was not as big as the snowman which Clint, Cooper, and Sam were currently building. Both girls knew that. But Lila was absolutely determined that it would be the prettier of the two if it could not be the bigger.

Wanda watched her throw a glance at her father, brother, and Sam, who were just touching up their snowman. “Do you think we could give her some hair?” she asked.

Shutting one eye and putting her tongue between her teeth in mock concentration, Wanda used her powers to carve long, curling locks into the ball which formed the head of their snowwoman. Lila watched the process with wide, wondering eyes. “I love how you can do that, Wanda! It’s so beautiful!

“Thank you,” Wanda said as she finished the hair, smiling with pleasure. The little girl often paid her such compliments. Once, Wanda had believed she did so at her father’s suggestion. But as she had gotten to know the girl, she had realized her mistake. The child had a mind of her own, and when she gave someone a compliment, it was because she meant it.

A tingle worked its way up the back of Wanda’s neck to her forehead. It was not easy to fight the instinct to turn toward the porch in answer to the silent summons. She knew he wanted to talk to her, but signaling that she knew would mean the others would learn it as well.

Wanda’s lips pulled together in a nervous line. She was not sure how they would react if they saw her wave at him. Best he waited until she was ready. To his credit, he was being very patient.

Reaching up, Lila placed a couple of small stones in the snowwoman’s head for eyes. A carrot followed suit for the nose, and then Wanda helped her put in rocks to make the snowwoman’s smiling mouth. An old scarf and sunhat made the finishing touches. At Lila’s request, Wanda carved arms in the snowball which made their creation’s midsection, adding a couple of rings in lieu of mittens.

“Those are impressive,” Steve said as he came into the yard. He was carrying an armload of firewood, a testament to the work Laura had asked be done for the family. Steve had volunteered before anyone else could and Wanda suspected he had done so to allow the children more time with Clint. He had been with the team for most of the last two months, and Steve wanted him to make up for lost time – whether the archer liked it or not. As far as she could tell, he was enjoying it immensely.

Steve smiled now at the Barton children. “You kids are great artists.”

“Hey, what about me?” Sam asked faux petulantly.

“Come on, Wilson, we’re all kids to him.” Clint shot Steve a wicked grin.

Steve gave him a mild nod in return, his mouth curving slightly in amusement as the children giggled. “Touché, kid,” he answered pointedly, which made Cooper laugh even harder. “I don’t know about anyone else, but I can already smell dinner. Think we ought to go in?”

“What do you guys say?” Clint asked, looking at his children.

Lila’s response was to dash toward the house, her mirth forgotten. She was followed closely by Cooper, who tripped as he raced after her. He came up with a wad of snow in his hand, which he tried to throw at his sister to slow her down.

Wanda caught the makeshift snowball midair with her power and brought it arcing back to her hand. “Race fairly, or not at all!” she admonished. Cooper gave her a look that was half-chagrined, half huffy. He appeared so much like his father that she had to bite back a laugh. “Go on, she’s winning!”

That made him turn and chase after Lila. “Besides,” Wanda added softly, “I need the ammo!”

Turning on her heel, she threw the projectile at Clint, who ducked to avoid it. Sam leaned back out of the way as well. The snowball arced past him….

And hit Scott Lang in the helmet as he grew to normal size. “Whoa!” he shouted, his voice muffled.

He was so startled that he landed on his rear in the snow. He clawed at the Ant-Man mask, removing the snow from it, while the rest of them laughed. “I thought this was supposed to be a safe place!” he muttered as he took off the front half of his helmet.

“Nice shot, Wanda!” Clint said, clapping her lightly on the shoulder as she muttered, “Sorry,” to Scott.  She could feel her cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

“Is this for what happened to the closet?” Lang asked. Apparently he had not heard her apology, only Clint’s compliment. Getting his legs under him, he added, “Come on, man, I said before it was an accident!”

“Oh, yeah, the closet,” Clint deadpanned. “Come to think of it, Wanda, you should drop some more snow on him!”

“I told you, ants and roaches don’t get along!”

“So you had to grow big enough to put your empty head through the ceiling, because the Ant-Man was afraid of a roach?” the other countered harshly.

“Scott, how are the traps on the south side?” Steve interrupted, smoothly diverting attention from the potential argument. But he was grinning as he spoke.

Wanda tried her best to make the giggles stop, but it did not work. Scott’s escapade in the guest room’s closet had occurred when he had first visited the Barton homestead in the summer. He had come to set up some early warning systems for Clint’s house with the local ants. The two men each had a confident streak which tended to irk the other. Scott putting his head into the upstairs spare room through the ceiling of his closet had not helped settle matters between them, because the move had destroyed almost two months’ worth of renovation on that part of the house. Clint had not been happy, to say the very least.

“Still good,” the San Francisco native panted, dusting the remaining snow from his suit. “Ants are hibernating for the winter, but,” he shrugged, “the tech isn’t frozen –”

“Unlike your brain,” Clint muttered.

Scott shot him a look that carried more hurt than anger. “The heating system still works, so no chance it’ll conk out.”

“Good to know.” Steve glanced to the side, and he suddenly turned to wave toward the house.

Turning, Wanda was in time to see Sharon Carter waving back from the porch. “Ten minutes!” she called.

Steve had never told them how he found Sharon, and she had never revealed any details, either. But somehow, after going on the run for helping them in Germany, she had stayed hidden long enough for Steve to find her and recruit her to the “Secret Avengers.”

“Great!” Scott clapped his hands together. “I am starving!”

“Yeah, well, you get the smallest portion,” Clint growled as he turned and walked away. Wanda fell into step beside him as Scott stuttered in bewilderment, “Wha… Why?

“Because of your size, Tic-Tac,” Sam answered. She could hear the grin in his voice. Both men enjoyed ‘razzing’ their new teammate far too much, in her opinion.

And enough, she decided, was enough. “You shouldn’t tease him like that,” Wanda whispered, giving Clint’s shoulder a nudge with her own. “It was an accident. And he did help to fix it.”

Tried to help,” the other muttered. “At least he got the wiring right.”

“Come on, he’s not so bad!”

The archer heaved a deep, theatrical sigh. “Okay, yeah. Considering his size, he can haul a lot of weight –”

The rest of his words disappeared in an oof as she elbowed him lightly in the ribs. “All right, all right!” he chuckled. “I get the message!”

“Good. Regular portions then?”

“Unless he wants to eat us out of house and home.”

Wanda could not smother the responding smile. As they approached the house, she allowed Clint to pull ahead of her and climb the stairs up to the porch. He went inside immediately, probably to snatch some private moments with his wife.

She went up the steps more slowly, allowing an argumentative Sam and Scott to pass her and enter the house. Sharon turned from the man sitting in the rocking chair on the porch and smiled at her. “Nice job with the snowwoman,” she said.

“I had a lot of practice.” Wanda shrugged. “Winters in Sokovia were usually snowy. Pietro and I almost always found time to make a snowman or to have a snowball fight, even when we were too old to do it, in some people’s minds.”

“With his powers, I imagine he would have won today’s snowball battle.”

Wanda shot her a smug smile. “No he wouldn’t.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he would never have been able to beat me.”

There was a clatter from the woodpile, followed by Steve’s footsteps as he jogged up the porch stairs. “Are we all ready to eat?” he asked.

“Just about,” Sharon said, glancing at the man in the rocking chair. She shot Steve a questioning look, but he had turned to the man himself. “You coming, Buck?”

“In a minute,” the other answered. “I just have to finish something, and I’ll be right in.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Steve stepped forward and opened the door for Sharon, who walked inside. He followed her.

Once the door was closed, Wanda looked back at the former Winter Soldier. Barnes’ attention, however, was on a notebook situated in his lap. He was writing something in it.

Though the Wakandans had offered to replace his metal arm not long after he arrived in their country, Barnes had insisted they do so only after all the HYDRA codes were purged from his mind. The doctors had made great progress there – even Wanda could sense that – but he still had residual programming lurking in his memory. Until that was gone, he retained the use of only his right arm. His left still ended in a metal stump, which was wrapped in various slings, depending on the wear and tear the older ones had received during his time in cryostasis.

She thought he would finish writing before he spoke, but he surprised her:

 

Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men doomed to die.

And one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, one Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.”

 

His voice never rose above a murmur. “You read really well, you know that?”

Wanda blinked. She had read The Lord of the Rings – and several other books – to Barnes while he was in cryogenic freeze during their visits to Wakanda. The head doctor had asked for volunteers to stay up with Barnes during the late hours of the night, when most of the other physicians and their attendants went to get some sleep.

She had heard, somehow, somewhere, that coma patients who awoke often reported hearing the voices of those who talked to them. This had led to her decision to volunteer for the project. But she had never, in her wildest imaginings, expected Barnes to mention it! “You heard me?” was all she could think to say. It sounded so pathetic and childish that she wanted to take the question back.

He nodded. “I think I heard you whenever you came to visit. And Steve – I know when I heard Steve drop in to talk. And I think I remember the doctors, when it was their turn to read or talk at night. Some of them really liked to talk. I remember most of what you said.” He frowned, his hand pausing in its progress across the page. “At least, I think I remember most of it. Did I recite that poem correctly?”

“Perfectly.”

He seemed to think that over for a long time. Then he gave a slight nod before he went on writing. Wanda had to fight the urge to read the words flowing onto the page. He wrote well – and fast. “I didn’t know if you’d be able to sense that I wanted to talk to you,” he went on. He continued to write as he spoke. “Steve said you could pick up on that sort of thing, but with my brain all messed up…” He shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s not as wild as I thought it was.”

“Not wild so much as…scarred,” she murmured. “I can sense you, most of the time, but not as clearly as Scott, Steve, and Sam.”

“I’d have thought Barton would have made that list.”

“Normally, he does.” She paused. It was not her story to tell… but he should be apprised of the matter, at least briefly. “But he has been – used in the past, too. He carries it well, but he does have scars. They make him hard to ‘hear.’ Occasionally.”

Barnes’ left eyebrow lifted. “Any idea when this happened?”

“New York,” Wanda answered promptly. “Loki’s invasion.”

“Hmm.” Barnes closed the pen and dropped it in the book, closing it afterward. “Have to ask Steve about the details, I suppose.”

“You could ask Clint.”

He looked up at her and smiled slightly, a shadow of bitterness in the expression. “You think he’s really that comfortable around me?”

“I think,” she said slowly, “that it is his story to tell.” She paused, then added, “It wouldn’t hurt to try.”

His gaze slid off to the side as he considered that. Then he met her eyes again. “If I think of a way to ask, I will,” he promised. He cocked his head at her.  “I wanted to say thanks. For the reading you do at night. It’s nice, not to be alone.”

Now it was her turn to give him a small smile. “I know. That’s why I do it.” She watched him tuck the notebook into the pocket of a bag sitting at his feet. As he stood up and slung the strap over his shoulder, she asked, “What were you writing?”

“Things I remember,” he said. “And what I saw today.” He nodded into the yard without looking at it. “It’s supposed to help me…get better. Somehow.”

“Does it work?”

“Sometimes.” Now he did look into the yard. “I want to remember this,” he said firmly. “So writing about it feels like a good precaution.”

“I guess it would.”

They stayed on the porch for a moment in companionable silence. In the quiet, Wanda’s senses suddenly tingled. She started. They were being watched….!

She looked up at Barnes, a warning on her lips, and found his eyes on her. There was an amused glint in them. “If you’re going to stay up in that tree,” he said, raising his voice somewhat, “You’re going to miss dinner.”

That was when Wanda identified their covert observer. She spun around –

To see Natasha Romanoff, a warm coat over her black combat suit and wearing a light backpack, swing out of the tree next to the house. Landing her foot on the railing, she brought her other one down onto the wood flooring. Once she had her balance, she released the tree branch and hopped quietly onto the porch. “Now you recognize me,” she said, smiling lopsidedly at Barnes.

“Turns out, you’re pretty hard to forget.” Barnes’ mouth had quirked at one corner. Glancing between them, Wanda suddenly realized she was witnessing two professionals trade “shop talk.”

“Must be the hair,” she said. Reaching up, Natasha pulled a pin from the bun at the back of her head and allowed it to fall loose. Wanda was startled to see that it was dyed black. Natasha was also wearing far more makeup than she had ever used before. In a crowd, even Wanda would have missed her – especially if she had been using just her eyes.

Natasha’s bright green gaze went from Barnes to Wanda. She felt herself blush. “Natasha – about the fight at the airport –”

“You were right,” Natasha cut her off, her smile widening. “He was pulling his punches.” Walking lightly across the porch, she threw her arms around Wanda and hugged her. Hard.

Wanda returned the embrace with as much strength as she could summon. “How did you get away?”

“Old spy habits die very hard,” the older woman replied, pulling back to study Wanda’s face. “You look good. The guys have been taking care of you?”

“Yes,” Wanda managed past the lump that wanted to rise in her throat.

Natasha grinned, but there was something uncertain in her expression. “Think, uh, that they’re in a recruiting mood?”

“You mean…?”

“Come on, none of you could stand by and watch the bad guys steam roller people. You’re names don’t make the papers anymore, but a determined person can put two and two together to realize that you’re still working under the radar.”

Wanda found herself smiling. “I think you may have to – make a pitch, is it? But you’ll get a fair hearing,” she added quickly.

“All I can hope for. And more than I deserve.” Natasha glanced at Barnes.  “Anything I should avoid saying or doing?”

He answered her in Russian. Wanda shot him a look, feeling her eyes widen with surprise. The code words to activate his HYDRA programming had been largely in Russian. Though the doctors had said those were gone, she and the others had been wary about saying anything in that language, especially around him.

Natasha’s eyebrows rose as well. “Impressive.” She responded in the same tongue and Barnes’ smile got wider. “Stalingrad, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Can everyone detect my accent?”

Barnes chuckled, reached forward with his right hand, and grabbed the doorknob. Whatever he said in response as he opened the door for them, Wanda did not understand it, since he was again speaking in Russian. But it made Natasha laugh. She walked to the door and Wanda followed in her wake. “You are a charmer!” Natasha chuckled, giving him a teasing look.

“I try,” he answered.

Once they were indoors, they wiped their boots on the welcome mat. Or, Wanda and Natasha did. Barnes was wearing a set of soft shoes, and he had never left the porch. His scuffing was more reflexive politeness than anything else. They were in the entrance of the main hallway.

Standing in the doorway immediately to their left was Steve. He glanced toward them, then turned his head to focus on the third member of their party. Natasha froze in response.

Their eyes met and held for a very, very long moment. Then, turning, Steve waved into the other room. An instant later, Clint joined him at the door.

He and Natasha stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Wanda waited, her heart pounding so hard she thought it might burst.

Finally, Clint walked over and put his hands on Natasha’s shoulders. “You were almost late,” he said, mock sternly.

Natasha’s lips quirked. Wanda did not need her powers to note the way the other woman’s feelings trembled. She had moved her mouth to try and hide how it quivered with emotion and uncertainty. “I wasn’t sure there would be room at the table,” she answered softly.

Clint shook his head slightly, never taking his eyes off of hers. “Always room at the table for you,” he said, adding a Russian word at the end of his statement. Clint had told Wanda that particular word meant sister.

Natasha’s tightly controlled response was entirely in Russian – but Wanda definitely heard the word for brother buried in the sentence.

The two hugged hard. Wanda saw the Black Widow’s shoulders tremble slightly in Clint’s strong grip. It had not been easy for her to come back, she realized suddenly, especially knowing that they had all been locked up in the Raft after the battle at the airport.

Wanda had half hoped the former spy would return and had been half afraid that she would lash out in anger at Natasha if she did come back. She had also been worried the Black Widow would hold their brief fight at the airport against her.

Seeing her now, though, after so many months, Wanda knew she could not be angry at Natasha. Perhaps, she thought, recalling how easily the other had dismissed their last meeting, she can’t bring herself to be angry at me, either.

Finally, the two pulled apart. The emotion they were feeling was still palpably obvious, though. Wanda did her best to ignore the wetness on the other woman’s face, the only physical sign of her reunion which she had been unable to hide.

At that moment, Steve came up beside Clint, who turned slightly so that Natasha could face him. Natasha opened her mouth to say something but Steve shook his head slightly. “Looking for a job?” he asked, his lips curving up in a wry smile.

Natasha smiled wanly. “Wanda says you’re hiring.”

“You’d need a specific skill set.”

“Got one of those.”

“Good record.”

“Could be better.”

“Need a couple of sources to vouch for you.”

Clint’s hand rose immediately. Wanda’s was a few seconds slower. He glanced at her and she gave him a teasing smile. Steve took in their upraised hands, then looked back at Natasha. “All right. Natasha Romanoff, welcome to the Secret Avengers.”

“Better known to my kids as ‘The A-Team,’” Clint piped up smartly.

Natasha burst out laughing. “You’ve got to be kidding!”

“Nope.” There was a loud scramble from the doorway. Natasha had laughed loud enough for the others to hear her. “Incoming!”

The next few minutes were a madcap exchange of shouted greetings and hugs as Cooper and Lila pounced on Natasha with wild exclamations of joy. Sharon and Laura’s faces reflected that, for the most part, while Scott’s face showed wariness. Considering his last – and his first – meeting with Natasha, that was understandable. But even after Steve nodded to him, Wanda detected some suspicion in Sam’s eyes. Scott was soon going to have company in the ‘razzing’ department, she suspected.

Pressed up against the door with Barnes by the swarming group in the hall, Wanda could not help laughing. She was not sure just what was so funny. They were still fugitives. Stark, Rhodes, and Vision were with the Accords. Nothing had changed. Nothing…except that Natasha had returned.

It was like they had been in mourning and had not even known it. As though they had thought Natasha was dead, and now she had suddenly shown up alive. Maybe that was why Wanda was laughing so hard. Other than it helped her to avoid crying.

Settling into her seat at the dinner table a few minutes later, Wanda was surprised when Lila leaned over to her and whispered, “Cooper and I made a list of some more books Uncle Steve’s friend might want to hear read to him. Would you like to see it?”

“Definitely,” Wanda hissed back. “Tomorrow morning. Deal?”

Lila nodded and bobbed in her chair, smiling. Wanda grinned at her, then glanced around the table.

She saw Barnes as he squeezed between Steve’s and Clint’s seats.  She watched Sharon take a chair on Steve’s other side. Scott had gotten Natasha a chair from somewhere and was helping her settle in beside Laura. Sam was on Wanda’s right, seated next to Laura and Nathaniel. Cooper had a chair between his father’s seat and Scott’s.

These were her friends. Her family. I’m not going to leave ANY of them alone, she promised.

THE END

 

It’s Been a Long Time…

Four years. It has been four years since my last post longer than a sentence appeared here on Thoughts on the Edge of Forever, readers. Dear heaven, the fact that any of you stayed, let alone continued to read my posts, astounds me. I am touched. Thank you!

I had better start with the most obvious item on the list: I am not dead. There wasn’t any illness or death or anything that made me stop posting here, either. Most of the problem boiled down to three things: (1) I had to juggle this blog with a new schedule that didn’t leave me a lot of room for writing as I had been before.

Reason (2), the lock downs in 2020/2021 hit me hard emotionally and caused a great change in me. Furthermore, at the same time the lock downs occurred, the franchises I loved went completely off the deep end, which is (3) a big reason why I didn’t come back to this blog. How could I entertain you and give you something to be happy about, when I was so profoundly unhappy with my fandoms? I had other things I was happy about and was able to do, but this blog was meant for me to expound upon my favorite stories and anything incidental I came upon that was worth looking into. For two years I had nothing of the kind to share, primarily because I couldn’t muster the energy to write about old things when the new things stank.

When I reviewed Avengers: Endgame (long after it came out) I was very, very restrained and polite because I thought I had time to get over my feelings about it. Without the lock downs, maybe I would have managed that feat. But the fact is that not even the parts of that movie which I thought were pretty good landed for me. The finale for the MCU hit me in the gut; I had been hoping for a Return of the Jedi style ending. Instead, I got Cap going back in time and coming to the present as an old man while his romance with Sharon Carter was ditched (Emily VanCamp was cheated). Tony died when he didn’t need to die (in the sense that it would have been better for him to live, personally, even though the story worked fine with him dying). We also had Natasha dueling with Hawkeye before throwing herself off the cliff to get the Soul Stone. That SHOULD have hit me in the “feels,” as they say. It didn’t.

Oh, and Gamora’s death in Infinity War wasn’t reversed. I know how the Infinity Gauntlet story ends in the comics – the movie didn’t even come close. It should have; The Winter Soldier was pitch perfect, Avengers: Age of Ultron blended dozens of storylines across decades well in my opinion, and Captain America: Civil War actually FIXED the mess the comics gave us.

(I have discovered that there are people who hate the movie and call it bad, but trust me, film Civil War‘s flaws – and they are minimal – are easily rubbed away. Comic book Civil War? Rewrite the whole thing, using the movie as a guide. That is the only way to read it, because the original comic book version does nothing but destroy the characters and make them villains.)

That final scene between Hawkeye and Black Widow in Endgame should have affected me, and objectively, I know it was a good scene. Johansson and Renner have reason to be proud of it, and actresses who aren’t studying Johansson’s acting in that scene are never going to reach her level of skill. But I still didn’t feel a darn thing watching that scene except anger, and…. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like that all I had was anger about it. That anger is why I was late with my review for the movie and why I softballed it; you didn’t need me angry and ranting about the film, readers. It was the closing chapter in the MCU, the swan song of the actors, and the final movie Stan Lee had a cameo in. The series was over. I wanted to let it rest and let the anger, disappointment, and sadness go.

Before the lock downs I had hope that I could find some new fandom to get excited about again. Something that would help bleed off the anger and leave me something to talk about here that would be just as much fun for me and for you. Then we got shut down “for two weeks” that turned into roughly two years, and…it all came tumbling down. Franchise after franchise after franchise got destroyed, and though I knew it was coming for Marvel, I couldn’t get away from the destruction. I had to watch others talking about it over and over and over again, laughing and pointing out how stupid it was and how they knew it would end like this.

I knew it didn’t have to end like this. I knew it didn’t have to end badly at all. That it had never been stupid, that it had never been worthless, childish, or something that was going to go down in flames eventually. But I had to watch everyone else act like all of that was true.

So the anger didn’t go away. Instead, it got worse and almost turned to despair (except I’m stubborn, so…). The world shutting down and locking me up made it all harder to deal with because there was no escape hatch available. That meant I couldn’t muster the energy to post on this blog, because there is literally enough anger going around online to drown the world. You did not need me to add to the tsunami and I wasn’t going to do that to you.

By now, though, the anger’s found more constructive outlets. Yes, I could do an entire list of things I didn’t like about Endgame, as well all the parts of Infinity War that I think could have been done better, starting with having Sharon Carter on the run with Steve and the rest of Team Cap. I wanted their romance on film, darn it, especially after it had been torpedoed so often in the comics.

I also wanted the knockdown, drag out screaming match between the Scarlet Witch and Vision that I was expecting from the films, given he abandoned her in Civil War when he said he would protect her. Infinity War just jumps to them as a couple, without the healing necessary to make it work, while dropping Sharon off a cliff and letting Tony run on the Worst Idea Ever. (Running off to face an alien menace with a teen and a sorcerer who he just rescued from being slowly sliced up with glass knives? I need a rolled-up newspaper so I can apply it to some genius patoot. Because that was blatantly stupid on Tony’s part, and someone should have called him on it in Endgame, only they didn’t. He got to yell in Steve’s face about Steve leaving when Tony is the one who ran off on a harebrained scheme and no prayer. That was not what anyone needed.)

I think the post-Endgame project that hit me hardest was WandaVision. I had already lost a lot of faith in those two as a couple over the years, but I was also reluctant after a point to say so “in public” here at Thoughts. This means that I outwardly accepted Wanda and Vision’s romance for longer than I should have. Meanwhile, in my head, I kept trying to find her a different guy for years, because I knew that her relationship with Vision was not good due to where it ended in the books; I just didn’t want to do something as horrible to Wanda in the comics as what the writers there were (and are) doing to her. (I’ve tried to ignore the comics – oh, how I have tried. It hasn’t worked, and add that to the films going bad, as I predicted years ago…yes, I am angry, readers.)

WandaVision was the ultimate nail in the coffin for me, as it adapted the worst comic book arc to film that I expressly did not want to see either on the big or small screen. Then it tried to make Wanda a heroine after making her a villain. No. No, no, no!!! I hate the Disassembled and House of M arcs in the comics, as you know from reading my posts, so why on Earth would I want to see it in live action? Especially to be followed up with the idea that Wanda giving up her fantasy somehow makes her heroic after the writers had gone to all the trouble to make her actually evil in the show. At least in the comics she literally lost her mind. UGH.

Readers, you deserved better than to have me shrilling complaints about the comics, the movies, and other franchises I have discussed here with no end in sight. There was nothing for me to do at the time but watch everything collapse, and I just couldn’t write about any of my fandoms in a critical manner anymore with all of that going on. It wouldn’t have been a critique, it would have been a tirade, and you deserved better.

Besides that, the hits just kept coming; unless I went back to older material that I was increasingly aware either wouldn’t attract attention or would be destroyed as well if it got too much traction, there wasn’t anything to praise and point you toward. Again, you deserved better than that. You deserved something new, readable, entertaining, and fun. This is especially true after the heck the lock downs put us all through, but at the time, I didn’t have anything I felt I could share with you. To paraphrase J.R.R. Tolkien, there was nowhere for me to go to escape the jailers I saw leering at me from every corner of the world.

Except for one place, that is.

Looking back at my stats for Thoughts on the Edge of Forever, I am surprised and heartened that one of the most popular posts here is a fan fic story I wrote for a friend. I truly did not see that coming – I had more or less quit writing fan fiction between 2016/2017 and 2020/2021, but I didn’t think the Transformers Christmas fic was or would ever be very popular. This despite finding escape in fan fiction myself (some of it really darn good) online during the lock downs. In hindsight, of course, if I could evade the jailers using fanfic, so could and would others. Professor Tolkien made the point that a man in prison will find something to talk about other than prison walls and prison guards, and fan fic reading was the way out for me and many others.

Naturally, that led me right back into writing my own fanfiction. I still have some pre-Infinity War fanfics lying around, along with a Star Wars short I want to finish but haven’t quite figured out how to tie up yet. Needless to say, since Marvel’s Phase 3 finale left me angry and Phase 4 (along with the comics) has been little more than a series of slaps in the face, I haven’t dabbled in any other fandoms for fanfic much. If I get the chance and/or inspiration, though, I might start branching out.

Sharing any of the present fics I have is a big step, however. I was writing them mainly for fun and to make myself happy; even though I shared the fics with a couple of friends, publishing them online for anyone to see scared me to death. But having finally checked back in to Thoughts on the Edge of Forever to find the Transformers fic is so perennially popular, and with a number of fics screaming to be published, I have to ask: Would you even want to read more fanfics by me? Or is fanfic a step too far? I can set the accessibility of posts here on Thoughts so that only you, my followers, can read the fics on my site. I could also post them somewhere else and drop a link telling you when they’re up here on Thoughts. Or would you prefer I make an effort to go back to the old pattern I had here previously?

My schedule is going to make posting erratic at best, so I won’t be here as regularly as I used to be, back in the pre-lock down years. I’ve also changed, which means my writing style has changed. Cliche though it sounds, I’m not the person I was when I posted here last time. The lock downs – in and out of fiction, because I don’t know what else you can call cutting the fans out and spiting them but a creative lock down – and events the world over have made me stretch and move past the person that I used to be.

With luck and a little work, I might be able to write a few reviews and thoughts here again, but all I have right now that is remotely readable is fanfic (at least one of those fanfics is out of season, too). You have hung on with me to this point. What do you say? Ready to follow The Mithril Guardian into the jaws of what is generally known as “fix it” fic?

Let me know in the comments what you think, you wonderful, wonderful people. Have a Happy Easter, and God bless you!

Until next time,

The Mithril Guardian

Merry Christmas to All!

THE NATIVITY OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

NATIVITY

Immensity, cloister’d in thy dear womb,

Now leaves His well-beloved imprisonment.

There he hath made himself to his intent

Weak enough, now into our world to come.

But O!  for thee, for Him, hath th’ inn no room?

Yet lay Him in this stall, and from th’ orient,

Stars, and wise men will travel to prevent

The effects of Herod’s jealous general doom.

See’st thou, my soul, with thy faith’s eye, how He

Which fills all place, yet none holds Him, doth lie?

Was not His pity towards thee wondrous high,

That would have need to be pitied by thee?

Kiss Him, and with Him into Egypt go,

With His kind mother, who partakes thy woe.

Have a Happy Christmas Eve!

“May the Father of all mercies scatter light, and not darkness, upon our paths, and make us all in our several vocations useful here, and in His own due time and way, everlastingly happy.” – George Washington, Letter to the Hebrew Congregation in Newport, 1790

‘Tis an old message, readers, but it still rings true. Have a Happy Christmas Eve and a Merry Christmas!

“God rest ye, merry gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay….”

The Mithril Guardian

Happy Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

Because two people fell in LOVE...: Feast of Our Lady of ...

Song to Our Mother

(Tonantzin Icuic)

At the foot of the hill

Where the roses bloomed

I contemplate the Virgin

Who captured my heart.

Mother mine of Guadalupe

Mother mine, all love,

We beg thee to give us

Thy benediction and peace.

No other nation on earth

Has been so blessed by God

For that the Indians of Mexico

Carry thee in their hearts.

Guadalupe, Guadalupe,

The name that brings us joy,

May it be ever on our lips

With great devotion.

Mayest thou be praised in heaven

Sweet Virgin Mother of God

And on earth beloved

From end to end of our land.

On Tepeyac she appeared

Like a divine Star

She is there to be our light

To protect and guide us.

Glory to the Immortal Princess

Who freed us from great evil

And to make us happy

She crushed the serpent.

Guadalupe, Guadalupe,

The name that brings us solace

It’s the name of my mother,

Of my mother and of God’s.

In Celebration of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Novena in Honor of the Immaculate Conception of the ...

Vigil of the Immaculate Conception

by Maurice Francis Egan

A sword of silver cuts the fields asunder—
A silver sword to-night, a lake in June—
And plains of snow reflect, the maples under,
The silver arrows of a wintry moon.

The trees are white with moonlight and with ice-pearls;
The trees are white, like ghosts we see in dreams;
The air is still: there are no moaning wind-whirls;
And one sees silence in the quivering beams.

December night, December night, how warming
Is all thy coldness to the Christian soul:
Thy very peace at each true heart is storming
In potent waves of love that surging roll.

December night, December night, how glowing
Thy frozen rains upon our warm hearts lie:
Our God upon this vigil is bestowing
A thousand graces from the silver sky.

O moon, O symbol of our Lady’s whiteness;
O snow, O symbol of our Lady’s heart;
O night, chaste night, bejewelled with argent brightness,
How sweet, how bright, how loving, kind thou art.

O miracle: to-morrow and to-morrow,
In tender reverence shall no praise abate;
For from all seasons shall we new jewels borrow
To deck the Mother born Immaculate.

Gifted – A Review

Watch Gifted (2017) Free Online

Well, I am batting a thousand this year, aren’t I? I missed posting this past weekend, readers. In the immortal words of Charlie Brown: “AUUGH!!!” (Cue head banging on the desk in self-frustration.) Sigh….

Yes, Life happened last week, and that was why there was no post. I do apologize, readers. This is not something the Mithril Guardian does on purpose. Sometimes life just…. Happens.

But we are here now, so let us make the best of it. Today’s topic is the film Gifted. Starring Chris Evans in the lead role of Frank Adler, the story follows Frank as he raises his young niece, Mary. Mary is a girl with a high IQ; she is already a math genius, despite her young age. After her mother – Frank’s sister – committed suicide, he took her away from her grandmother to raise her as a normal girl. Having done his best to homeschool her up to this point, Frank has decided it is time for Mary to go to public school in order to socialize and make friends her own age.

Unfortunately for him, Mary does not want to go. As she later admits, she finds most children her age boring; they do not have enough accumulated life experience to make them seem interesting to her. But her uncle insists and so, reluctantly, she gets on the bus and goes to school.

To say it is a rough first day is an understatement. Mary makes all kinds of impressions on the other kids, her teacher, and the principal. The teacher is impressed, the kids snicker, and the principal calls Frank after his niece uses some strong language she should know better than to say. He comes to pick Mary up, then scolds her not only for mouthing off to the principle, but for showing the teacher what she can do. When said teacher – Bonnie Stevenson – comes out to suggest that Mary may be gifted, he does his best to throw the woman off track.

It does not work. The next day, instead of the regular first grade math assignment, Bonnie gives Mary an algebra test. While it is more challenging than the first grade test, the girl finishes it in record time. She also comes to respect her first grade teacher, setting up a strong rapport between the two.

Sadly, Bonnie’s attempt to teach/entertain Mary does not go unnoticed. Neither does the girl’s ferocious defense of a boy in her class, who is bullied on the bus on the way to school. This incident leads to Frank landing in the principal’s office. The woman in charge of the school, smelling prestige and profit, offers him a scholarship for Mary due to her gifted intellect. Frank tells her in no uncertain terms that he is not interested.

But that does not stop the principal. She puts in a few calls and, a couple of days later, Frank’s mother appears on his doorstep.

Although he loves her, Frank also resents his mother for several reasons, not least the fact that she insists on taking Mary away from him. Evelyn Adler is a gifted mathematician in her own right, but she is nowhere near as good as Mary. Nor is she as good as Mary’s mother and Frank’s younger sister, Diane.

When Diane proved capable of solving math problems faster than her mother, Evelyn dedicated her daughter’s life to the subject. She had tried the same thing with her husband and Frank, but neither man had the talent to the same degree Diane did. Having lived her entire life isolated from the outside world so she could focus on math, it is not too surprising that Diane would get desperate enough to go out with any man who would take her, resulting in Mary’s birth.

Gifted Movie Screening and Review - An Alli Event

It is also no surprise that she ended up taking her own life when Mary was six months old.

Evelyn asks politely for Frank to hand Mary over to her so the girl can complete Diane’s work. When her son refuses, she drags him to court, pulling open old wounds for both of them. Having never taken legal guardianship of his niece, Frank is skating on thin ice, while his mother refuses to admit that she had anything to do with her daughter’s suicide.

I do not want to spoil the finale for the film, readers, so that is all I will say about the plot. Aside from Chris Evans, there are a couple of other familiar faces in the cast, including John M. Jackson, whom fans of JAG will recognize as Admiral A.J. Chegwidden. It was quite a surprise to see him here, since it is not easy for this blogger to keep up with all the JAG alumni as they continue on in there career. The only one I have been able to follow with a smattering of regularity is Catherine Bell, since her Good Witch film series keeps her in the spotlight.

Gifted is a great movie showing a father doing everything he can to protect his daughter. Though Frank is not her biological father and does worry he is not taking care of her properly, he truly loves Mary and wants what is best for her. Even when he makes mistakes he does so because he is desperate not to ruin his adopted daughter’s life. And when he realizes those mistakes, he takes quick action to repair the damage he has caused.

The film also takes an unflinching, very realistic look at the foster care system, custody battles, and the sad treatment of far too many “gifted” youths in modern society. Evelyn’s single-minded desire is to achieve fame by solving a supposedly insoluble mathematical equation. She killed her daughter in an attempt to do it and has no qualms about repeating the process with her granddaughter, whom she did not want in the first place. As fictional villains go, I would have to say she beats everyone but Maleficent and Thanos hollow. This woman is nasty.

And what makes her such a strong villain is that she does not seem nasty. She doesn’t yell, scream, or holler. In fact, she apologizes to Frank multiple times, stating, “I don’t want to hurt you.” But in truth she has no problem hurting him, any more than she had an issue with wounding her husband, her granddaughter, and especially her own daughter.

Talk about a piece of work, readers.

If you have not seen Gifted, I strongly recommend that you view it at the earliest opportunity. The movie does not have a lot of action, but it still left me close to tears by the time the credits rolled. Avengers: Endgame did not wear me out the way that Gifted did. This story is intense – as intense as the love of a father for his daughter.

But you do not need to take my word for it. Check out the movie and see for yourself. And pack a box of tissues, just in case. I wish I had done that when I settled down to watch the film first.

Until next time,

The Mithril Guardian

Gifted (2017) Review | Jason's Movie Blog

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

“Every one of our greatest national treasures, our liberty, enterprise, vitality, wealth, military power, global authority, flow from a surprising source: our ability to give thanks.” – Tony Snow (1955 – 2008) White House press secretary and journalist.

Spotlight: Thundercats – Jaga the Wise

Jaga | Thundercats Wiki | Fandom

As promised, here is the next post on the original Thundercats! I know it is overdue, but this has been a wild and wacky year for everyone. There were days when this blogger just could not find the time or the energy to write, which meant the posts she was supposed to write got shoved onto the back-burner.

But we are here now, so let’s celebrate! Today’s subject is Jaga the Wise, the mentor and surrogate father figure for Lion-O, the young Lord of the Thundercats. The court adviser and magician, Jaga was the only person outside of the royal family who could wield the Eye of Thundera and the Sword of Omens’ full power. It is never explained why this is so, but given how much magic he possessed, it does make some sense.

Of course, it is just as possible that Jaga was somehow related to the royal family. Though he is supposed to be based on the jaguar, to this blogger’s eye, Jaga has always had a more leonine appearance. Since he and the other Thundercats were of the nobility, and nobility regularly intermarries with royalty, this writer’s theory might have some weight. What makes her theory somewhat more plausible is when one considers the 2011 series, where Lion-O’s ancestor Leo was in love with a female panther. Thus intermarriage among the various upper echelons of Thunderan society only makes sense, from both a historical and a narrative position.

Regardless of how he was able to wield the Sword of Omens so effectively, the fact is that Jaga could do it. Even so, we only saw him wield the Sword in flashback; during the first episode – “Exodus” – Jaga has no visible weapon. We never see him physically engage with the Mutants, but since he was running around the ship, it seems safe to assume he did some fighting. He was certainly impressed that a twelve-year-old Lion-O could use the Sword after almost dropping it some minutes before vessel was attacked.

As the royal magician, it appears that Jaga was acting as regent for Lion-O when the final Thunderian refugee fleet fled the dying planet. He was the unquestioned commander of the flagship and he is the one who told the rest of the fleet to use evasive maneuvers. The fact that Panthro, Cheetara, and Tygra all answered to him without question only supports this idea.

Unfortunately, Jaga’s efforts to protect the Thunderian remnant traveling with Lion-O’s ship are not successful. As far as viewers can tell, the entire convoy is wiped out in a few minutes by the Mutants, who then board the lead vessel in an attempt to steal the Sword of Omens. They are repelled, of course, but they do enough damage that even Panthro cannot repair the ship to the point it can limp to the Thundercats’ original destination.

Neither can he make the ship do more than sputter in the direction of Third Earth. Jaga then demonstrates his wisdom by ordering the rest of the crew into the suspension capsules, so that they may live until they reach Third Earth. Due to his advanced years and the fact that the capsules only slow the aging process, not stop it, even if he were to use one himself Jaga will die by the time the ship lands. He says his good-byes to the rest of the crew, including a poignant farewell to his young king, then takes the helm as the others settle into hibernation.

Voice Of Jaga - Thundercats | Behind The Voice Actors

Since this was the 1980s, the decade of Star Wars. While I do not have a problem with the Obi-Wan Kenobi effect per se, the fact that the writers made it so obvious for Jaga in “Exodus” does kind of tweak my desire for a more…original exit. That being said, it is not a bad send off for him, and it makes his subsequent ability to offer ghostly guidance more believable than it might be otherwise.

From this point on, Jaga only shows up as a spirit who winks in and out of view when he needs to impart moral advice to the young king. It is hard to tell if Lion-O is the only one who can see Jaga when he drops in, or if the other Thundercats can see him as well. Captain Shiner does not see him during the episode where the heroes first encounter the mercenary captain and Willa, leader of the Warrior Maidens, also does not seem to perceive Jaga’s ghost when she and Lion-O first meet. Though perhaps she did see him, and she just didn’t want to interrupt him. She never says anything that would let us make a definitive judgement either way, so that is left to conjecture.

After Lion-O “grows up” following the Anointment Trials, Jaga imparts moral advice a little less frequently than he used to. From that point onward he operates in the manner of a good court advisor and fatherly ghost, bringing Lion-O news of danger he would normally learn about too late to defend against. Though the young king and his former regent are temporarily reunited when Lion-O must rescue his mentor from a spirit dungeon, they never come into actual contact again during the rest of the series.

In many ways, the 2011 series did Jaga more favors than it did other Thundercats. He even had his position in the court firmly established this time around; the ambiguity around his original position is dispatched by the simple statement that he is the head of the clerics and, therefore, advisor to the Lord of the Thundercats. His super speed is a little hard for this writer to buy, but considering the writers nailed two out of three points, that qualifies as a minor annoyance that can be rectified with little trouble.

What has always been more annoying about the 2011 Jaga, for me, is the caste of clerics themselves. It is never stated just what their function in Thunderan society is. Are they religious clerics? Considering how Cheetara and, later, Wilykit offer moral guidance to Lion-O and the others, that seems to be the entire point of their existence. But we do not see them officiate a religious ceremony or attend to any other duty except to protect (or try to protect) the royal family.

If they were meant to be warrior or magician clerics, then that would have been a nice tidbit to learn. And it would not have taken the writers more than a couple of lines of dialogue or a few background scenes to clear that up. As it is, the most we see the clerics do is try to fight Mumm-Ra, only to die en masse in one enormous explosion. And why are they all blindingly fast, when there is only one Cheetah among them (that we can confirm, anyway)? In the original series, only Cheetahs could move with the speed the clerics demonstrate. So why do all the clerics, who are not of the same subspecies as Cheetara? If the answer is “magic,” that would have been nice to know while the series was on the air! Ugh….

Putting Jaga in charge of a group of warrior magician monks/nuns is not a bad idea. Not telling us what these magician monks/nuns are supposed to do, how they wield their magic (Cheetara specifically says some of Jaga’s magic flows through her – what?), and how they are all as fast as the speediest cat in the land IS bad. It leaves the entire system feeling slipshod and tacked on; if they had taken the time to explain what the heck the clerics were for and how they operated, it might have worked. As it is, to this blogger, it just felt like unnecessary baggage.

So while I can say that I liked the 2011 version of Jaga, I cannot say I enjoyed the manner in which they fit him into the universe. And that is not counting how they made him a ghost advisor to the young Lord of the Thundercats. Trapping his soul in a magic lamp to torture him into giving up information is not kosher, guys. Having the Lizards or the other Mutants kill him while Mumm-Ra gloats, only to be shocked when the Thunderan mage fades away – that would have worked much, much better.

But beggars can’t be choosers, right? Two out of three is not bad at all. For the most part, 2011 Jaga is a nice homage to the original 1980s character, and the writers deserve praise for that. He’s not perfect, but hey, neither is anyone else.

With luck, I will see you next week with a film review, readers. Until then: “Thunder…Thunder….

Thundercats, HO!

The Mithril Guardian

The Corporeally-Challenged Thundercats